Modesty

I know that many will dismiss my talk on this today outright, but I want to ask any young lady I can to hear me out. Young men, this may also be for some of you, but my talk is directed toward the young ladies who want to serve Jesus. My goal is talking about truth, joy, and edification. I will say some things here designed to be thought inducing. Provocative, but I share them for insight, not salaciousness. There’s just not enough talk about this with most of us from the look of things.

“…I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or expensive apparel.” 1 Timothy 2:9. If God inspired his words in 2022, I’ve no doubt Paul would speak in regard to more immodest dress. To clothing that’s too revealing. I’m not sure how to say “yoga pants” in Greek, but I’d bet my bile duct my concordance could help me at this point if the Bible was written today. Ladies, God has given you beauty. And we men thank God for that. You’re just beautiful! In our day, however, beauty is a multi-billion dollar a year industry. In Paul’s day, ladies weren’t wearing high heels with waxed legs in miniskirts on TV. Fantasy was nowhere near what it is today. They didn’t have the brands known for make-up anything like what we have today. There weren’t gyms where ladies sculpted themselves in tone. Ladies were always pretty, but being pretty just wasn’t an industry as it is today. Let alone there were no filters for social media. Yet Paul here speaks of modesty in their day. In the way ladies would beautify themselves then, as again, they were always the fairer sex. Today, a girl doesn’t need to have gold and pearls, just a fifty-dollar outlet mall outfit to dress in a manner Paul spoke against.

Ladies, pornography has destroyed men. Visual lust. Women are destroyed by it sometimes too, but men today almost entirely. Pornography is an evil abomination. Everything in love is now distorted in the west as a result. Fornication, divorce, pornography, and abortion are all rampant in our day because of this sexual perversion. This was the case back when it was in VHS format (some of you will know what I mean) but today on a mobile device, forget it, it’s just ruined people. It’s literally everywhere. And it’s only half the men’s fault. It’s the women “starring” in these perverse things that are also half responsible. There is overlap, but I believe that women have the temptation of wanting to be lusted after, while men primarily have the sin here in wanting to lust after women. Both sins are what cause the pandemic.

I gave myself to pornography for well over a decade of my life. From ages 10 to 24, I was hooked. These things will not be gone from my memory banks until my glorification. This was back before I was saved. Like nearly everyone else, I thought it was normal. Healthy even. “Boys’ll be boys” they said. But God rescued me from all my sin. From fornication and from the insidious grip of pornography. Like a little digital peeping tom, I’d peer into people’s beds and watch. It was a part of me and of my relationships. So, like most any addiction, pulling away from it was not without its failures and relapses. I’ve taken up this cross. Without hypocrisy before God, I can tell you that I do not have a pornography problem any longer and haven’t for nearly twenty years. So, perhaps that can encourage someone reading this. You can be free of it doing life God’s way. But I gave myself to it. It shaped me. I am attracted to women, and the world with my hardy consent helped me turn that into sinful perversion. A great deal of research is showing today the deleterious affects of pornography on the developing mind. Parents, guard your kids! It’s more destructive than most illegal drugs and far more pervasive.

And most men are just like me. So, when we see a girl with her breasts out, her legs out, her stomach out, etc., it shows us at best that she’s not interested in our love for God. She’s out to ensnare us. She’s out to trip us up. We see her skin and she’s immediately someone to lust after. She wants to be treated like trash sexually and she loves it. We see her sexually, we hear her sexually, we smell her sexually…in the blink of an eye. It may not be true, but 1) don’t pretend like you’re not aware of it, and 2) that’s just the hook to our sinful flesh. The “women” in those videos are selling us this perversion that sex is just about pleasure. If we bought into it before, the sales pitch is very easy. If we’re in Christ it’s our war, but why would you want to be a man’s enemy in this?!

So, what’s my point? Yes, cover up. You don’t have to pretend like I’m calling for sackcloth all day. I’m not saying women should dress like lawn umbrellas. Such things are useless against this anyway. But could we arrive somewhere between a burka and a thong? Just wear shorts longer than the pockets in them maybe?! Yoga pants have to go, shorts that show your upper legs, open top shirts that show your chest, these are all ungodly. They are not fit for Christian ladies. Period. No mature godly woman would dress so immodestly in public. Older ladies, you really need to spearhead this in our churches. We men don’t want to. And boys, if you’re showing off your bodies, this applies to you just as much as it does to the ladies! I can’t imagine how anyone is comfortable walking around with their bodies hanging out. It invites perversion. We all know it.

But why? Why should you care, girls? Why am I saying this is your problem too? Well, it’s not just about us, girls. It’s about you too. I can’t live my life well if I’m causing people around me to sin. And neither can you. You can’t grow in your sanctification while doing such things. I can’t tell you how many times on social media I’ve seen a young lady talking about Jesus while making me think of sex with her…on purpose by how she’s dressed. It’s a total contradiction. It’s about you that I write this then, not just the men. What would you think of a man who went around recovering alcoholics all day causing them to smell their drink of preference and inviting them to take sips? Or of a person going around someone struggling to quit smoking asking them to take a puff and saying things like, “It’s not my problem they’re struggling. Think better thoughts guys”? My guess is you wouldn’t think too much of them at all. This surely would not be the behavior of a mature Christian. Christian men struggle with lust. It is a powerful sin. You showing us your sex is inappropriate. No godly woman should do this. It is a sin for you to, and God commands you to stop. There is even teaching about millstones and your neck that might apply. Matthew 18:6. I don’t want that for you.

And parents, especially dads, if you let your daughters dress like alpo, stop being surprised when dogs come around. You’re the idiot, sir. I see girls all the time. 12, 16, 17, who might as well just walk around in underwear like it’s normal. I want to slap their dad. It starts young, sir. Do your job. Honor your daughters.

There are potentially two sins when a person dresses immodestly. One is for sure, the other is potential:

1) The person dressing as such should know better. It is sin to snare a man like this. “For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching is light; and rebukes for discipline are the way of life to keep you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the foreign woman. Do not desire her beauty in your heart, nor let her capture you with her eyelids. For the price of a prostitute reduces one to a loaf of bread, and an adulteress hunts for a precious life.” Proverbs 6:23-26. You are behaving like a prostitute when you seduce men visually. If you’re not one, then I humbly invite you to stop looking like you are one.

2) Potentially, the looker. It is not a sin to be tempted, but when that temptation bears its fruit of pursued lust, Jesus says, “…everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:28. If he entertains it, it is his sin of adultery to look lustfully after you. That’s between him and his God. But you caused it. Do you honestly think you’ll get away with that? He allowed it. If he sins, it’s his sin; if you sin, it’s your sin.

If you serve Jesus, ladies, you need to be aware of all this. We men, far more than you, have had our culture ship us a button. It’s beautiful. It releases chemicals within us whenever it’s pressed. We’ve had it installed and regular updates are sent to our inbox by the minute. It’s a lust button. The world wants to press it every minute and many do. Please, please stop contributing. Repent. It is sin. Repent and be free. You can be beautiful without being evil about it. You can wear clothes befitting godliness and be far more attractive to the right kind of man in Christ. He wants your beauty. He wants that part of you meant for him. I don’t. I want it from my wife, not from you. Please don’t cause me to commit adultery by admiring your private parts. I cannot avert my eyes entirely. I will deal with my sin. This devotional is about helping you deal with yours. And may God bless us both in sanctification.